Purpose, Laughter & Love
by nofearonlylove
Summary: Rusty finds out that Sharon's been getting threatening letters, too. He makes a decision in order to protect her that could change everything. Livejournal Secret Santa wishlist exchange fic for yantzi! ONESHOT.


When Sharon's two children popped in for an impromptu visit with their mother the week of Christmas, it did more than unsettle him. It made him feel out of place, like he no longer belonged there with her.

It wasn't because of anything Sharon did or didn't do or said or didn't say. It could never be Sharon. Sharon was his saving grace, after all. But her children didn't seem to like him very much.

They tried to make small talk with him but it was clear that they didn't trust him or like him or want them around their mother. And Rusty really couldn't blame them. After all, she wasn't _his_ mother, she was theirs.

But ugh…he couldn't wait for them to leave. For things to go back to how it was, with just the two of them in her Condo again. And then everything would be right in his world again.

Or so he thought.

The night before Christmas Eve, Rusty was awakened by tense, even angry, words being exchanged between Sharon and her children. He was instantly alert, ready to barge out into the living room where they were carrying on their conversation and defend Sharon as much as he could, until he realized that their conversation was about _him_.

"Mom, what is going on? There are guards in the hall, in the lobby, and today when we visited the station that new Detective…Sykes? She said that things had been hectic and tense around there ever since Rusty started getting threatening letters, and then even more once YOU started to get them!?" It was Sharon's daughter, Emma, trying her best to speak in hushed tones but failing miserably.

Sharon sighed dramatically. "Em, listen to me…"

"No, Mom! If you are getting threatening letters than that….KID…doesn't belong here! He's put you in danger, Mom!" It was Ricky's turn to speak up, and his words sent daggers through Rusty's heart. Maybe they were right…maybe he didn't belong there. He didn't want anything to happen to Sharon, either. He'd never forgive himself.

_Wait….did they say that Sharon was getting threatening letters, too?_ Rusty pressed his ear against the door of his bedroom, straining to hear more.

Sharon's voice held a dangerous undertone to it. "First of all, I am in danger every single day in my line of work, and second of all, who are you to tell me whether or not Rusty belongs here? He does belong here, whether the two of you like it or not! You haven't even TRIED being nice to him, have you?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "Nice? I think we are being more than nice!"

Sharon put her hand up to silence her. "Listen to me! Rusty is here to stay whether you like it or not. He's been through a lot in his short life, more than anyone his age should ever have to go through or witness. He's safe here. He has a home here." She took a deep breath before speaking again, softer this time. "As for the letters, none of the ones addressed to me have threatened my life. Whoever is writing them doesn't want to hurt me, they want to hurt him. And neither I nor the members of my team or the guards outside this door will let that happen."

Rusty's eyes widened and he felt like he couldn't breathe. Sharon sounded so distressed. She was fighting with her kids, stressed out all the time, worried about him, and was even being threatened by some psycho…all because of him. He couldn't listen to their conversation anymore. He backed away from the door and sat down on his bed, in his safe, warm room, in the one place he had been able to truly call 'home' in many years, his mind reeling. And in a matter of moments he decided to make one of the most agonizing decisions of his life, and reached into his nightstand, pulled out a piece of paper, grabbed his cell phone and dialed a number, speaking to the person on the other end in hushed tones.

To go back to sleep was impossible for him after that, so when the time came to get up and head to the station, he was truly exhausted.

On the way to the station, Sharon kept looking over at him, concern etched in her expression. Finally, she spoke up. "Everything okay?"

His eyes widened and he looked over at her, surprised that someone was speaking to him. "What?"

Sharon rolled her eyes a bit and sighed. "Rusty…you look exhausted. What time did you get to bed last night?"

Rusty just shrugged, and looked down at his hands resting in his lap.

Sharon frowned. Something was wrong. As they pulled into the station she watched as he wiped his hands on his jeans, his palms sweaty. It was like he was almost afraid to go in there, which didn't make any sense. She pulled into her designated spot and reached over to place her warm hand over his cold, shaking ones.

He looked up at her and she was surprised to see tears forming in his eyes. Just barely, and those less acquainted with him would probably not notice it. She squeezed his hand. "Hey…hey…what's wrong?"

Rusty just looked at her for a moment and took a few deep breaths. And then, just like that, he shook his head and seemed completely fine again, pulling his hand away from hers. "Nothing. Come on. I have to finish some online test for history today so I can take the final at the end of the week."

Sharon nods. "Oh…okay….sure."

Rusty seemed fine after that. She asked Provenza to keep an eye on him just the same. Of course, it was difficult for either of them to do that since they caught a very complex murder only a half hour into their day. Everyone and gone to the scene of the crime, except for Sharon of course. But even she had to leave to head to the scene after an hour or so, and when she left, Rusty went into her office and placed his laptop in there, along with an envelope with her name on it. He looked around the office one more time, and saw the picture she kept of them together on the shelf behind her desk. It had been taken a few months prior, before the letters. Sharon had taken him to a Dodgers game, a birthday gift from her. And even though she wasn't particularly a fan of baseball, she knew he was, and so they went together. He had been truly happy for the first time in years that day. He knew that Sharon had another copy of this picture back at the house, and so he took it out of the frame and placed it in his back pocket.

And then he willed the tears that he had been holding back since that morning to go away. He hoped that she would understand. He hoped that she wouldn't hate him. He hoped that he would be able to see her again, maybe in a few months…when all of this blew over?

Suddenly, leaving that office felt an impossibility. He couldn't breathe, and started to hyperventilate right then and there. Not even a minute had passed when the person who was going to take him away from all of this barged into the office, having seen him struggling through the blinds in the office.

Emma Rios immediately told him to sit down and put his head between his legs, and kept telling him to breathe. A minute or so later, he had finally calmed down, but when he looked up, there were tears on his cheeks.

Emma swallowed and sat down beside him. "Rusty…are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you don't want to talk to Sharon, first? Don't you want to say goodbye?"

Rusty shook his head and wiped his tears away furiously. "No, I can't. She'll talk me out of it, and I am doing this for HER! Let's just….do this before I change my mind."

Emma nods. "Okay. Come with me."

Rusty stood up and followed her without a word. She took him into one of the interrogation rooms and he sat down at one of the tables. He looked around the room and realized that this was the room he had been in when Brenda had been interrogating him that first time he came here. He knew this because he had spent half the time ignoring her questions and stared at a rather large crack in the wall in the corner of the room. It was still there.

This was the place that he and Sharon first met. He had been full of so much attitude then, and had been down right rude, maybe even cruel to her in the beginning. And yet, she never gave up on him. All Sharon had ever done was love him and take care of him. She had been everything he had ever wanted or needed and he didn't even realize it until now.

"Rusty? Rusty are you listening to me?"

He blinked and looked at Emma who was gazing at him with a very annoyed expression. "I'm sorry, Emma…what were you saying?"

"Rusty please pay attention! You have to read all of these forms over before signing them. If you have any questions just let me know. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Rusty just nods at her as he watches her get up and head to the door. "Thanks, Em. I will…"

When she closed the door behind her, he looked down at the large stack of papers and blinked a few times. He read the heading of the first page out loud to himself. "PETITION FOR EYE WITNESS RELOCATION." He took a deep breath and read on.

* * *

Andy Flynn was having a helluva day. First, his alarm didn't go off, then he got a flat on the way to work and spilled his coffee all over his dress shirt and pants, almost burning himself in the process. He got the call about the murder but he was running so late already that he didn't want to show up with coffee stains all over him, so he headed to the station first. He always kept a fresh suit in one of the utility closets, since his tendency for clumsiness and making a mess seemed to follow him wherever he went.

He hurried into the station, and went straight for the utility closet, smiling to himself when he found his spare suit in there. He grabbed it and made a beeline for the facilities, and a few minutes later he was all set and started to head out, until he ran right into none other than Emma Rios.

"DDA Rios, what are you doing here?"

He noticed that she instantly looked uncomfortable, which was unusual for her. Normally she was always ready for battle, claws out at all times. But not today. "Uhhh…hello?"

Emma crossed her arms and sighed deeply. "Lieutenant Flynn…when do you expect Captain Raydor to be back?"

Andy shrugged. "I don't know…she doesn't normally come with us to the crime scenes….why?"

Emma took a deep breath. "Rusty called me late last night…told me he wanted to go into the Witness Protection program after all. He didn't say why…only that he was doing this for her, and he didn't want her to know about it."

Andy's eyes widened. "Well why didn't you tell the Captain about it?"

Emma rolled her eyes. "I planned on telling her when I came in today but she was already gone! I was going to call her but…since you're here…could you?"

Andy nods. "Of course. Thanks, Emma."

She nods. "I'll go back to Rusty then."

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out his phone, dialing her number by memory.

She picks up the phone after 2 rings, sounding exasperated. "Lieutenant Flynn…where ARE you?"

"Sorry, Captain…I had a lot of bobbles along the way this morning but that's not why I'm calling…I…."

She interrupted him. "Well, hurry up and get down here, would you? I'd like ALL of my team here…we have three bodies and I…."

"Sharon, LISTEN!"

At the mentioning of her first name, she stopped her babbling. "What? What is it?"

"It's Rusty….you need to come back to the station right now."

Sharon's heart dropped into her stomach and she covered her chest with her hand. "What…what about him? He's okay, isn't he?"

His voice was soft, soothing, as it was for her when she had been so unsure of herself after that boy blew his head off right before her eyes. "He's fine. Physically anyway. You just need to come back here right now. Provenza can handle things there."

Sharon nods, even though she knew he couldn't see her through the phone. "I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

After assuring Provenza and the rest of her squad that Andy told her that Rusty was just fine but needed her, and made sure that they would be all right without her, she left. She made it to the station in less than the fifteen minutes she had promised, her heart pounding all the way.

She walked into the station and spotted Andy sitting at his desk. He immediately stood up and went to her, noting the frantic, worried look in her eyes.

"What's wrong? What happened? Where is he?"

Andy put his hands on her shoulder. "Sharon, listen. I came back here to change my suit because you know what a klutz I am." She smirked a little at this. "Emma was here, and she told me that Rusty called her very late last time and…told her that he wanted to go into the Witness Relocation program after all."

Sharon's eyes widened, and she felt sick to her stomach. "But…why?"

Andy shrugged. "He told her he wanted to protect you and that he didn't want you to know about it. She was going to call you but I told her that I would. He's in Interrogation Room One right now with Emma, going over paperwork."

Sharon covers her hand with her mouth. Thank god she wasn't too late. She couldn't let him go. She wouldn't ever let him go. "Oh God….thank you for calling….I…" Her eyes fill with tears and when Andy opens his arms slightly for her, she walks into them gratefully and sobs once, her body shaking with the force of it. And just like that, she pulls herself back together just as quickly as the tears came on. She pulls out of his embrace and wipes her cheeks. She took a deep breath and just like that, she was composed again.

He smiled at her. "You okay?"

She nods. "Thanks for calling me, Andy. I need to go talk to him. Can you ummmm…call Lieutenant Provenza for me and see how things are going at the scene? This might take awhile."

He gave her a thumbs up. "Aye Aye, Cap'n."

She shook her head at him and smiled, then headed to the interrogation room, taking a deep breath before opening the door. She saw that Rusty was hunched over a stack of papers, and Rios was on the other side of him, just observing. Sharon cleared her throat and Rusty looked up at her in shock. Before he could say anything, she spoke up first. "Thank you, DDA Rios. I'll take it from here."

Emma nodded up at her and silently snuck out of the room. Sharon took a deep breath and moved slowly around Rusty before taking the seat that Emma was in and dragging it across the table to sit beside him. She took the stack of papers that could have taken Rusty from her and moved them away from him, and finally she spoke. "Rusty…what's going on?"

Rusty shrugged. He was staring at his fingers and wanted desperately to shrink back into himself. He didn't want her to see his tears. He took a deep breath. "I just…I was just trying to do the right thing."

Sharon gasped in shock. "By leaving me? Without even…saying goodbye?"

He shook his head and finally looked at her, and she gave him a sad smile, both of their eyes swimming with tears. He cleared his throat and looked into her eyes. "Why didn't you tell me that he has sent you letters, too?"

Sharon bit her lip and reached out to take his hand, relieved when he didn't push her away. "Because I am a police officer and I can take care of myself, and because I knew you would blame yourself, which I know is what you are doing right now."

"Sharon I…I'm sorry. For everything. I mean…your life has been so hectic and crazy and even dangerous…all the time…because of me!"

Sharon shook her head. "My life has had more purpose and laughter and love….because of you." She squeezed his hand. "Don't you see, Rusty? You and I…we started this together and we will go through all of this together, the good and the bad parts, and we will FINISH this together. I promise. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the letters. It was wrong of me. I love you, Rusty and the last thing I ever want to do is hurt you."

He just nods, looking so sad and unsure that Sharon can't help herself and she reaches over and wraps her arms around him, pulling him close to her. He takes a deep breath but finally relaxes and rests his chin on her shoulder. After a few moments, he feels Sharon let out a shuddering breath and he squeezes her tightly.

"Don't ever do this again, okay? Please. This is your home now. Whatever you are feeling, you need to tell me about it, okay?"

He just nods. He feels so relieved at knowing he won't have to leave her or the safety of his new life after all, and he can't bring himself to let her go yet.

She senses this, and holds him for a minute longer before pulling back with a questioning look in her eyes. "How did you find out about the letters that I was receiving, anyway?"

"I overheard you and Emma talking last night." He looks down for a second. "She doesn't like me, does she?"

Sharon sighs. "She is a little overwhelmed by all of this, as is Ricky, but they will just have to get used to it because you aren't going anywhere, okay?"

He nods again, and she smiles at him, reaching over to kiss his forehead. "Good. Now, lets tear all those papers up and go home."

His eyes widen. "Don't you have a case?"

She shrugs. "I do. But I think I deserve a vacation day once in awhile, don't you? Besides, I think we both deserve a day off."

He smiles sheepishly at her. "All right." He stands up and sticks his hand in his back pocket, remembering that he left a letter for Sharon and took the photo of them as well. "I uhhh…need to use the restroom, first. I'll meet you in the break room in a couple of minutes?"

She nods. "Sure. Go ahead."

Rusty leaves the room and once he turns the corner of the hall, he bolts to Sharon's office, surprised to see Andy there already. He had the envelope containing the letter to Sharon in his hands. "I take it I can tear this up then, kid?"

He nods. "Yea. I guess I'm sticking around after all."

Andy tears up the letter places it in the garbage just outside of Sharon's office, then faces Rusty again. "You got the photo, too?"

His eyes widened. "Yea." He hands it to Andy.

"Don't worry, I'll put it back where it was. She'll never have to know."

Rusty sighs in relief. "Thanks, Andy."

"No problem. And let the Captain know that we can hold the fort here today and to enjoy her day off, would you?"

Rusty smiles. "I will."

And with that, Rusty turned around and headed to the break room, feeling as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He finally felt like he had a real home, and the love he felt for Sharon and the help he received from her team were starting to ground him and mold him into the person he wanted to be.

He hoped to repay them all back one day. For now he was just going to take things one at a time, starting with his day off with Sharon.


End file.
